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(Disclaimer: This hilarious post contains a toddlers mis-use of a very simple word that when mis-used could be misconstrued as “slang”. Because this mis-use is so incredibly innocent and precious, we left it in all of it’s toddler glory.)

“Sometimes we talk to each other. Sometimes we talk past each other. Yesterday we were talking all at the same time.”

“Wait! Wait! It’s my turn! Remember when Kyle was 3? And he put his ‘Pippy-Scottin’ basketball jersey on…..?”

“Yeah – with a bunch of t-shirts underneath it and a denim vest on top?”

“And rain boots with no pants…..”

“Just a bare butt!”

“What? What about my butt?”

“You walked into my bathroom — I was curling my hair. You asked if you could wear that outfit to a wedding we were going to.”

“Wait! Wait!” “Then you came running into the kitchen. You threw your hands on your hips and all I saw were these toothpick legs sticking out of boots that you had on the wrong feet.”

“He still wears his shoes on the wrong feet.”

“Do not, Ris!”

“Do to!”

“Well,,, they were on the wrong feet and you were super mad. You said, DAD!!! Do I look dickless to you? Mommmm said I look dickless!”

 “That’s when dad came flying into my bathroom. “DEBBIE! What on earth did you say to our son!” I looked at you both like you were nuts. “What do you mean what did I say to our son? I said he looked ridiculous in that outfit.”

“Yeah, I remember…” Kyle, now fourteen, leaned back in his chair all suave. “You took a picture of me by the scarecrow outside, then I went to my room because you and dad were laughing.”

“Yeah – Ha! Ha! Ha!” Rissa high-fived Kyle. “Now Kyle won’t wear anything but designer clothes. That’s what you get for making fun of his first attempt at creating his own style!”

“Ha-ha-ha”… I laugh to myself – the joke is on me, “if I had I known that little bare butt moment was going to cost me so much at American Eagle ten years later, I might have been able to keep a straight face that day.”