I did it — that thing I rarely do. I hummed the theme to Chariotts of Fire… Da-duuh-daaa-duuh-daaaaaaa-duuuuuuh… Surely Olympic training was why Ken was wearing green satiny basketball shorts from 1989, accessorized with the quickest old t-shirt he could grab.
“Mom! Stop looking at dad. I need to ask you something. Where did you put the lighter? Dad wants me to light the grill.”
I didn’t use the lighter, son, your father had it last.
“He did?”
Yes, the guy wearing those green, uhm, well never mind. Where did you get those red shiny…..? Weren’t those part of your Halloween costume from 6th grade?
“Never mind about my shorts, mom, I need to find a lighter.”
“I have an idea, son!” Father Green shorts stops doing sit-ups or whatever those body bending things were. He busts into the kitchen with a plan. He rolls a wad of white paper napkins into a cylinder. He presses one tip of the cylinder onto the glass top stove. A bright red circle glows before our faces. “I am going to light this torch with this red circle son, and as soon as it starts to burn — and believe me, it is going to burn any second… yeah, any second… just wait… it is going to catch on fire… and when it does, I am going to hand it to you, then you run through the house with it as fast as you can. Open the backdoor, go outside, and throw it onto the charcoal…”
By now of course, I am grabbing my ribs, wishing I was wearing shiny shorts, too so that I could think of such heroics.
Lucky for me, I almost get an opportunity. The torch turns to ash only inches before it reaches the grill. The men scratch their chins. They announce “Plan-B”. Kyle rolls one torch, gets into position by the backdoor. Ken rolls another one, smooshes it onto the red circle. It flames! He runs! He lights Kyle’s! And yes! The Davis family is eating grilled steaks in 30 minutes!
Today’s Life Recipe: Food Never Tasted This Much Fun! Da-Duh!
Connie from Connie’s Turing 50 Blog gave me the BFF Gold Card! Thank you Connie, I’m so blessed to have such great blogging buddies.
I’m passing on this BFF Gold Card to a few of my many blogging buddies!
1. Julie from Blessed with Five
3. Bad Momma from Bad Momma Blog
Wow - I do not even have words for this…only laughter. Lots of laughter.
I said it before and I’ll say it again. Guys crack me up!
That is hilarious! I hope you find that lighter before the next time.
Thank you so much for my award. I will pass it on tomorrow.
that is hysterical….the only thing funny my hubby ever did in shorts was put them on backwards and thought he had lost his equipment hehehehehehe…..love the shiny shorts…hope the steaks were good…..love ya
snickering loudly here….
Awww…thanks for the bloggy award!!
See you at the Humor Olympics, Debbie!!
I once lit a cigarette on the stove. Singed my eyebrows so from then on I used the toaster. What? When you need a drag, a drag you gotta have. I’m so glad I don’t do that anymore, lol!
Fun post…now go by some purple satin shorts and join in the fun!
Sandi
Funny story! Hope those were yummy steaks!
Take care - Kellan
Sounds like your house is ALWAYS full of fun and laughter!!! I would cringe if any of my boys asked for a lighter - I think I will even when they get older!
Thanks for the very sweet award! I consider you a BFF also!!! I humbly accept this beautiful award - now one question, where can we use it and how much is the credit line?
O.k. I am only kidding!
Thank you so much for the Gold Card. (Do you think they will accept this at Macy’s?) I appreciate your friendship!
The torch thing scares me. Forget the shiny shorts, you need to be standing by with a fire extinguisher!
I was waiting for the fire in the kitchen story. You guys are fun! Connie
ROFL!
You’re so funny!
Tkx for your lovely comment once again!
It’s nice to know that you like it!
Have a great day!
xoxo
Ha! That’s hilarious!! Men are idiots.
Father Green Shorts is such a hero. If it wasn’t for his brilliant idea, u guys wud still be searching for that lighter n starve for the rest of the day.
Like the comment above I thought you were going to say the kitchen ended up on fire. Men, you just have to shake your head and wonder.
Y’all crack. me. up!
You’re a brave, brave woman allowing your son to play with fire (even for steaks), lol.
My family has a long history of pyromania, and so we hide the matches and lighters well. Don’t need my son to take after his grandfather and burn down the living room at 3.
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